I want to help you understand how your body responds to the world around you without you even realizing it. Your nervous system is constantly working behind the scenes, moving between different states based on what’s happening in your environment. When you feel safe, your body operates differently than when you sense danger or threat.
Think about how your body reacts in different situations throughout your day. Your heart might start racing when you hear a sudden loud noise, or you might feel yourself shutting down during a stressful conversation. These responses aren’t choices you make consciously. Your nervous system is automatically scanning your surroundings and adjusting your body’s functions based on what it detects. Understanding this process can help you make sense of why you react the way you do in certain situations.
Key Takeaways
- Your nervous system automatically moves between three different states based on whether it senses safety or danger
- Your body scans your environment unconsciously and changes your heart rate, breathing, and other functions before you can think about what’s happening
- Healing from trauma requires safe connections with others because their calm nervous system helps regulate yours
Understanding Polyvagal Theory
Your nervous system moves between three distinct states throughout your day. When you drive to work singing your favorite song with your partner, you experience one state. When you hear a police siren behind you, your body shifts to another state. When you encounter someone who has hurt you in the past, you might drop into a third state.
These shifts happen automatically. You don’t choose to make your heart race or decide to shut down. Your autonomic nervous system responds to your environment through specific pathways before you even have time to think.
The Body’s Response System
Your autonomic nervous system operates through three specific pathways. Each pathway creates a different experience in your body and changes how you see the world around you.
The system works like a ladder. You move up and down between states based on what your nervous system detects in your environment.
The three pathways are:
- Ventral vagal (top of the ladder)
- Sympathetic (middle of the ladder)
- Dorsal vagal (bottom of the ladder)
Your vagus nerve connects these pathways to nearly every system in your body. The word “vagus” means wandering in Latin. This nerve wanders from your brain stem through your heart, lungs, digestive system, liver, gallbladder, spleen, pancreas, and kidneys.
When one organ detects danger, the information travels quickly to your other organs through this network.
Calm and Connected State
When you feel safe and connected, the ventral vagal branch of your parasympathetic nervous system is active. Your heart rate stays regulated. You feel peaceful, happy, active, and engaged.
The world feels like a safe place when you’re in this state. You sit at the top of the autonomic ladder.
You might experience this state while singing with a loved one in the car or having a pleasant conversation with a friend. Your breathing flows naturally and your body feels at ease.
Activated and Alert State
When your sympathetic nervous system activates, your fight or flight response gets triggered. Your heart rate races and your breathing becomes short and shallow. You feel anxious and experience a rush of adrenaline.
The world suddenly feels dangerous. You move to the middle of the autonomic ladder.
This might happen when you hear a police siren behind you and wonder if you did something wrong. Your body prepares to either fight or run from perceived danger.
Once the threat passes, your heart rate and breathing can return to normal. You can climb back up to your calm and connected state.
Disconnected and Numb State
When the dorsal vagal branch of your parasympathetic nervous system activates, you shut down and dissociate. This happens at the bottom of the autonomic ladder. Your energy drops low and your breathing becomes shallow.
You feel disconnected from conversations around you. You experience numbness as a survival mechanism.
This state might occur when you encounter someone who abused you in the past. You can feel yourself starting to shut down even though you’re just sitting in a room.
Signs you’re in this state:
- Low energy
- Shallow breathing
- Feeling numb
- Disconnection from others
- Sense of shutdown
Healthy individuals move freely between each state. However, trauma survivors can get stuck in the activated or disconnected states. Your nervous system becomes wired for threat and danger instead of safety and connection.
How Your Nervous System Detects Safety and Threat
Your autonomic nervous system constantly scans your environment without you even knowing it. This automatic process looks for signs that tell your body whether you are safe or in danger. You don’t make a conscious choice to do this scanning. It happens on its own, every moment of every day.
This scanning process has a specific name. Your nervous system checks every person you meet and every situation you enter. It asks a simple question: Is this safe or dangerous? The answer to that question controls many things in your body.
What Your Nervous System Controls:
- Heart rate
- Breathing patterns
- Muscle tension
- Pain tolerance
- Digestive system function
- Energy levels
Your vagus nerve connects all these systems together. The word vagus comes from Latin and means wandering. This nerve travels from your brain stem through many organs in your body. It connects your heart, lungs, digestive system, liver, gallbladder, spleen, pancreas, and kidneys.
When one organ detects danger, that information moves quickly to all your other organs. Your whole body responds as one system. This happens before you have time to think about what is going on around you.
Your nervous system makes these assessments and starts responding before your conscious mind catches up. You cannot control these responses through willpower or conscious decision-making. Your body acts first, and your thoughts come later.
People who have experienced trauma often develop problems with this scanning process. Their nervous system becomes wired to expect threat and danger instead of safety and connection. The ability to read the environment correctly becomes distorted.
Signs of Faulty Scanning:
- Overestimating danger in safe situations
- Missing cues that signal safety
- Struggling to feel connected to others
- Viewing the world as constantly threatening
Trauma survivors can get stuck in states of fight-or-flight or shutdown. Their natural pattern of connection gets replaced with a pattern focused only on protection. The repeated wounds from trauma shape how their nervous system works. These changes require healing relationships to help rebuild trust in other people.
You need other people’s nervous systems to help regulate your own. This is not just helpful—it is necessary for survival. Young children show this clearly. They have no ability to calm themselves down on their own. They must rely on parents or caregivers to help them regulate their emotions and body responses.
Your nervous system needs connection with other nervous systems to maintain both physical and mental health. The important part is connecting with people who have reached their own state of calm and safety. A therapist who feels grounded and calm can offer this kind of regulation to someone who struggles to find it alone.
Therapy creates a safe space through specific actions. A therapist might validate your distress, maintain a soft gaze, use a calm tone of voice, listen actively, and keep an open body posture. These behaviors send signals of safety to your nervous system. One nervous system communicates safety to another nervous system through these cues.
When you feel genuine safety, you cannot feel threat at the same time. Your nervous system follows a hierarchy. Safety sits at the top and blocks feelings of danger when it is truly present. You can find your way back to safety by experiencing relationships that are actually safe.
This creates a challenge for trauma survivors. Connection feels dangerous to them, but they need connection to heal. They must take a risk to enter a relationship that can help repair their nervous system’s ability to detect safety. The right therapeutic relationship offers a path forward through this paradox.
How Your Vagus Nerve Works
Structure and What It Does
The vagus nerve gets its name from the Latin word for wandering. Your vagus nerve starts at your brain stem and travels through many parts of your body. It connects to your heart, lungs, and digestive system. It also links to your liver, gallbladder, spleen, pancreas, and kidneys.
This nerve acts like a communication highway. When one organ detects danger, the vagus nerve quickly sends that message to your other organs. Your nervous system uses this network to control many body functions without you thinking about it.
Your vagus nerve connects all these organs together. This means changes in one area affect other areas fast.
Effects on Body Systems
Your vagus nerve controls many automatic body functions. It regulates your heart rate and breathing patterns. It also manages muscle tension and pain tolerance.
Your nervous system scans your environment constantly. It looks for signs of danger, safety, or threat. This happens without your awareness or control. When you meet someone new, your nervous system automatically asks: “Is this person safe or dangerous?”
After this scan, your body responds. Your nervous system adjusts based on what it detects:
- Heart rate speeds up or slows down
- Breathing becomes shallow or deepens
- Muscle tension increases or releases
- Pain tolerance changes
- Energy levels shift
These changes happen before you even have time to think about what’s going on. Your vagus nerve sends signals between your organs to coordinate these responses across your whole body.
Trauma and Nervous System Regulation Problems
How Trauma Affects Your Body’s State Control
When you experience trauma, your nervous system loses its ability to move freely between different states. Your body’s natural pattern shifts from connection to protection mode.
If you went through trauma, your nervous system becomes wired to expect threat and danger instead of safety. This happens because the trauma changed how your body works at a basic level.
Key changes include:
- Your default state becomes dorsal vagal shutdown instead of ventral vagal connection
- Your body stays stuck in sympathetic or dorsal vagal states
- You cannot easily return to a calm, connected state
- Your nervous system prioritizes survival over connection
Your Brain’s Faulty Danger Detection System
Trauma damages your neuroception, which is how your nervous system scans for danger and safety. When this system gets distorted, you cannot accurately read your environment.
Your body starts to misread the signals around you. You see threats that are not really there and miss signs that you are actually safe.
Common problems with trauma-affected neuroception:
| What Happens | Why It’s a Problem |
|---|---|
| You overestimate danger | You feel unsafe even in safe places |
| You struggle to see safety cues | You cannot recognize when someone is trustworthy |
| Your responses do not match reality | You react to small issues like major threats |
This faulty scanning system keeps you trapped in protective states. Your body views the world from a place of shutdown or high alert, which makes normal life very hard.
Case Example: Stephen’s Story
Stephen was physically abused as a child and bullied at school. At first, he tried to fight back against the bullying and abuse. This did not work, and the harm continued.
His nervous system eventually moved to its final option: dorsal vagal shutdown. The prolonged and repeated trauma shaped how his nervous system worked from that point forward.
Stephen’s situation:
- His nervous system became wired for threat, not safety
- He viewed the world from a dorsal vagal state
- His neuroception was faulty and distorted
- He could not interpret safety cues correctly
- Connection felt dangerous to him
Stephen faced a difficult problem. He needed connection to heal, but connection felt dangerous. He had no one in his life who felt safe to him.
When Stephen started therapy, his therapist offered safety cues through specific actions. She validated his distress and maintained a soft gaze. She used a calm tone and listened actively. Her body posture stayed open and welcoming.
These actions invited Stephen into his ventral vagal state of connection. The therapist assured him through her behavior that the environment was emotionally and physically safe.
The therapist’s nervous system communicated to Stephen’s nervous system that he was safe. This is how Stephen could find his way back to safety – through experiencing a safe therapeutic relationship.
The Importance of Connection and Healing
Why Connection Feels Dangerous After Trauma
Trauma creates a difficult problem in your healing process. Your nervous system needs connection to heal, but trauma makes connection feel unsafe.
When you experience repeated trauma, your nervous system changes. It becomes wired for protection instead of connection. Your system starts viewing the world from a dorsal vagal state, which means you are stuck in shutdown mode.
This changes how you read your environment. Your neuroception becomes faulty. You start to overestimate danger and threat in situations that are actually safe.
What happens to your threat detection:
- You see danger where there is none
- You miss cues of safety
- You struggle to trust people
- Connection feels threatening
Your trauma has shaped your nervous system. These wounds need a healing relationship to help you trust people again. But this creates a paradox: you need connection to heal, yet connection feels dangerous.
How Therapy Relationships Support Healing
A therapy relationship offers you safety cues that can help your nervous system heal. Your therapist provides signals that invite you into a ventral vagal state of connection.
Safety cues your therapist provides:
- Validating your distress
- Maintaining a soft gaze
- Using a calm tone
- Active listening
- Open body posture
These actions tell your nervous system that the environment is safe. Your therapist’s nervous system communicates to your nervous system that you are not in danger.
This works because of the hierarchy in polyvagal theory. When you have feelings of safety, you cannot have feelings of threat at the same time. You can find your way back to safety by experiencing a safe relationship.
Co-regulation is a key part of this process. Your nervous system needs to connect with other nervous systems to feel well. You need to co-regulate with nervous systems that have reached ventral vagal regulation.
Young children show us why this matters. They cannot self-regulate on their own. They need co-regulation from parents or caregivers. They depend on these relationships for emotional regulation.
Co-regulation is a biological need. You require it to survive and heal. The key is finding nervous systems that are grounded in safety to connect with.
Co-Regulation as a Survival Need
Building Regulation in Early Years
Young children cannot calm themselves down on their own. They need their parents or caregivers to help them manage their emotions and reactions. This process happens through their relationships with the adults who care for them.
Your nervous system was designed to connect with other nervous systems. This connection is not just nice to have. It’s required for both your physical and mental health.
When you were a child, you depended entirely on your caregivers to help you find emotional balance. You looked to them when you felt scared, upset, or overwhelmed. Their calm presence helped bring your nervous system back to a regulated state.
The people who raised you taught your nervous system how to respond to stress. If they were calm and present, your system learned that the world could be safe. If they were absent or threatening, your system learned something different.
Using This in Treatment
When you enter therapy, you face a challenge. Connection might feel dangerous to you, but you need connection to heal. This creates a difficult situation for trauma survivors.
Your therapist can offer your nervous system cues of safety through specific actions:
- Validating your feelings and experiences
- Using a soft gaze when looking at you
- Speaking in a calm, steady tone
- Listening without interrupting or judging
- Keeping an open body posture
These actions send signals to your nervous system that the environment is safe. The therapist’s regulated state communicates directly to your nervous system. Their calm tells your system that it’s okay to let your guard down.
This works because of the hierarchy. When you feel safe, you cannot feel threatened at the same time. One state replaces the other.
The key is connecting with people who have found their own regulated state. If your therapist is grounded in their own calm, connected state before seeing you, they can help guide your nervous system toward that same place.
You find your way to safety by experiencing a safe relationship. The therapeutic relationship becomes the tool for healing. Through repeated experiences of safety with another person, your nervous system can begin to trust connection again.
Your therapist’s nervous system is communicating with your nervous system throughout each session. This happens below your conscious awareness. Their regulation helps support your regulation over time.
Core Concepts of the Theory
Polyvagal theory provides a framework based on how your brain and body work together. It helps explain why you act the way you do. When you look at your behavior through this lens, you can see that your actions are automatic and not under your conscious control.
You don’t make a deliberate choice to increase your heart rate when something startles you. You also don’t decide to shut down when you feel threatened. Each response happens automatically and unconsciously.
Your autonomic nervous system evaluates your surroundings and starts a response before you even have time to think about what’s happening. This process moves faster than your conscious thoughts.
The Three-Tiered System
Your nervous system operates through three distinct pathways. These pathways form a hierarchy that controls how you respond to the world around you.
Ventral vagal is the top of the ladder. When this branch of your parasympathetic nervous system is active, your heart rate stays regulated. You feel safe, peaceful, happy, active, and engaged. The world feels like a safe place.
Sympathetic is the middle state. When this branch activates, your fight or flight response gets triggered. Your heart rate races and your breathing becomes short and shallow. You feel anxious and experience a rush of adrenaline. The world suddenly feels dangerous.
Dorsal vagal sits at the bottom of the ladder. This branch of your parasympathetic nervous system creates shutdown. Your energy drops low and your breathing becomes shallow. You disconnect and feel numb as a survival mechanism.
Healthy individuals can move freely between each state. However, trauma survivors can get stuck in a sympathetic or dorsal vagal state.
How Your System Scans for Safety
Your autonomic nervous system constantly scans your environment without you knowing it. This unconscious process is called neuroception. It looks for cues of danger, safety, and threat.
Every time you meet someone, your neuroception scans them and asks: are you safe or are you dangerous? Your nervous system then uses that information to control many body functions.
Your heart rate, breathing, muscle tension, and pain tolerance all change based on what your system detects. Almost every system in your body shifts because your vagus nerve connects them all together.
The vagus nerve wanders from your brain stem through your heart, lungs, digestive system, liver, gallbladder, spleen, pancreas, and kidneys. When one organ picks up danger, that signal travels quickly to the other organs.
How trauma affects neuroception:
- Your ability to scan the environment becomes distorted
- Your neuroception becomes faulty
- You overestimate danger and threat
- You struggle to interpret cues of safety and connection
Prolonged and repeated trauma shapes your nervous system. Your natural pattern of connection gets replaced with a pattern for protection. Your nervous system becomes wired for threat and danger instead of safety or connection.
The Role of Connection in Healing
Co-regulation is a biological necessity. You need co-regulation in order to survive.
Young children have no capacity to self-regulate. They seek co-regulation from their parents or caregivers. They rely on those relationships for psychological and emotional regulation.
Your nervous system needs to be in connection with other nervous systems to feel both physical and psychological well-being. The key is co-regulating with other nervous systems that have found their way to ventral vagal regulation.
Trauma creates a difficult situation. Connection feels dangerous when you’ve been hurt, but you need connection to heal. These wounds require a healing relationship to help you reclaim trust in other people.
Cues of safety in relationships include:
- Validating your distress
- Maintaining a soft gaze
- Using a calm tone
- Actively listening
- Adopting an open body posture
These cues invite you into your ventral vagal state of connection. They assure you that the environment supports emotional and physical safety. One nervous system communicates to another nervous system that it’s safe.
The hierarchy matters here. When you have feelings of safety, you can’t have feelings of threat at the same time. You can find your way to safety by experiencing a safe relationship.
The Three Organizing Principles
| Principle | Description |
|---|---|
| Three-tiered hierarchy | The ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal states |
| Neuroception | Your nervous system’s ability to assess signals of danger, threat, or safety |
| Co-regulation | The need for an organizing other to help you turn to a state of safety and connection |
If you work with others in a helping role, it’s important that you are grounded in your ventral vagal state before you see them. Your regulated state allows you to offer co-regulation to someone else.
Applying Polyvagal Principles to Your Everyday Experiences
Your nervous system responds to your environment through three distinct pathways. Understanding these pathways helps you make sense of your automatic reactions throughout the day.
The Three States You Move Through
Your autonomic nervous system operates through three levels:
- Ventral vagal state – You feel safe, connected, and engaged with the world around you
- Sympathetic state – Your fight or flight response activates when you sense danger
- Dorsal vagal state – You shut down and disconnect as a survival response
Your body shifts between these states based on what your nervous system detects in your surroundings. These shifts happen automatically, without any conscious decision on your part.
How Your Body Scans for Safety
Your autonomic nervous system constantly scans your environment for cues. This process is called neuroception, and it happens completely outside your awareness.
When you meet someone, your nervous system immediately asks whether that person is safe or dangerous. This assessment occurs before you have time to think about it consciously.
Your nervous system uses this information to control multiple body functions. Your heart rate, breathing, muscle tension, and pain tolerance all change based on what your nervous system detects.
The Wandering Nerve
Your vagus nerve connects many organs throughout your body. It travels from your brain stem through your heart, lungs, digestive system, liver, gallbladder, spleen, pancreas, and kidneys.
When one organ detects danger, that information spreads quickly to your other organs through this nerve. This is why a threat can affect your entire body so rapidly.
When Trauma Changes Your Patterns
Most people can move freely between the three nervous system states. However, trauma can cause you to get stuck in either the sympathetic or dorsal vagal state.
When trauma interrupts your ability to regulate your nervous system, your natural pattern of connection gets replaced with a pattern for protection. Your nervous system becomes wired to expect threat and danger rather than safety or connection.
Trauma shapes how your nervous system interprets cues from your environment. You may overestimate danger and struggle to recognize signs of safety. This creates a difficult situation because connection feels dangerous, yet you need connection to heal.
Finding Safety Through Relationship
Co-regulation is essential for your nervous system to function properly. This means your nervous system needs to be in connection with other nervous systems to feel well.
Young children demonstrate this principle clearly. They cannot self-regulate and must seek co-regulation from their parents or caregivers. They depend on those relationships for psychological and emotional balance.
As an adult, you still need co-regulation to experience both physical and psychological well-being. The key is connecting with people whose nervous systems are in a ventral vagal state.
Creating Safe Connections
Safe relationships offer specific cues that invite your nervous system into a ventral vagal state. These cues include:
| Verbal Cues | Nonverbal Cues |
|---|---|
| Validating your distress | Maintaining a soft gaze |
| Using a calm tone | Adopting an open body posture |
| Active listening |
When someone provides these cues, their nervous system communicates safety to your nervous system. This creates an environment that supports both emotional and physical safety.
The hierarchy of your nervous system means you cannot feel safe and threatened at the same time. When you experience feelings of safety, feelings of threat cannot exist in that moment.
The Three Core Principles
Your nervous system operates according to three organizing principles:
- A three-tiered hierarchy of ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal states
- Neuroception, which is your nervous system’s ability to assess signals of danger, threat, or safety
- Co-regulation, which is your need for connection with others to reach a state of safety
These principles work together to determine how you respond to the world around you. Your reactions are automatic responses based on what your nervous system perceives, not conscious choices you make.
